Sometimes Daddy Touches My Privates

March 20, 2008
I stopped the swing and walked around to face Michael. Here is the actual conversation:
Michael: Mommy, you just touched my privates.
Me: What are you talking about, what privates?
Michael: My butt.
Me: Sorry.
Michael: Sometimes Daddy touches my privates too.
Me: When he is pushing you on the swings?
Michael: Yes
Me: Does he touch your privates at other times?
Michael: Yes.
Me: Which privates, your butt or your pee pee?
Michael: My butt and my pee pee.
Me: What do you do when he does this?
Michael: I punch his lights out.

Just like that. Out of the blue. My 4 1/2 year old son told me that his father is sexually abusing him. There are no words to describe that feeling so I'm just going to leave it alone for now.

Michael hopped off the swing, and jetted over to the monkey bars to delay leaving the park just a little longer. Nothing else said. He just hopped off the swing and ran away. At least that was normal. I stood over by the swings for awhile trying to process the bomb, and trying not to pass out. The little stars were circling around my head, like the ones you see in the old Tom & Jerry cartoons when Tom gets hit in the head with a frying pan.

Everything became surreal after that. I vaguely recall walking over to my friend Paige, and mumbling something like "we have to go now." Then leaving. Mom's have to leave the park for all sorts of reasons, and other moms don't really question it. You just go. So I gathered up my belongings, and my 2 sons and we left.

I've always wondered if the woman next to us on the swings heard the conversation. I truly hope not.